Speed Round 13.2

i.
8 years old he is
Birthday party it will be
31 years of me

ii.
Donning my apron
Basked in aroma and flour
Out comes cakes, cookies & cream

iii.
Watching my thoughts
Like clouds mashed up together
Different shape sizes

iv.
Who am I?
Who am I beyond these thoughts?
Who am I?

Ginny Phang

Speed Round 13.1

i.
friday afternoon
lacks total motivation
still, the weekend calls

Jason Rostant

ii.
show me the money
they lost it playing black jack
capitalist pigs

Patrick McCormick

iii.
Unrelenting
Thick raindrops rip the blossoms
From her outstretched hands

Neil Krieger

A diva haiku

for andrew

a streisand moment
a celine dion flourish
a bassey statement

Ian Row

Hobart 09: Suite

i.
cirrus clouds for two
blue sky whispers a welcome
open road ahead

ii.
landmarks evoke
points in personal history
some things still hurt

iii.
drought tolerant plants
gifts for an estranged mother
zero maintenance

iv.
a mainland gourmand
samples the offshore flavours
deep fried 'miss the mark'

v.
missing the moment
i forget about the future
have i learned nothing?

Ian Row

Bad disaster movie haiku: A suite

i.
temperature's rising
Jordan, just get out of there!
worst is yet to come

ii.
bring it up on screen
thermal overlay - so hot
it's percolating

ii.
activity below
we need canine assistance!
don't die on me, bro

Ian Row

don't call me 'baby'
old enough to be your father
yes ma'am!

Ian Row

Speed Round 12

i.
two months leave starts now
time to find "inner poise"
bite me Bridget Jones

Cathy Dineen

ii.
Friday truly is
The beginning of the week
Before the mayhem

Ginny Phang

iii.
Exhausted I am
Extraordinary week
Elated I’ll be

Ginny Phang

iv.
One day at a time
I’ll rise to the occasion
With each breath I take

Ginny Phang

v.
chinese business
woman as scary as an
arab on the beach

Pat McCormick

bill brooks'garage sale
paid a little too much for
a piece of history

Ian Row

which one should come first?
climate or economy?
false dichotomy.

Ian Row

An afternoon in Frankston: A suite

i.
feels like saturday
what a monday off can do
not quite ready yet

ii.
was it nerves?
or did you change your mind?
is it that hard?

iii.
rough trade at the mall
scowl, stubble and safety boots
it's just business, mate

iv.
rubberband rolling
you can tell when it's sushi
save some for later

v.
oblivious to
the danger, the emo kids hang
out at Gloria Jean's

Ian Row

A mass sackings haiku

Hungry ghosts
roam unsettled within vulnerable fears
angry and sad

Karen McVean

A haiku about The Watchmen

The Watchmen
Best supporting performance...
Billy's blue penis

Ian Row

earth hour versus
you don't mess with the zohan
adam sandler rules!

Ian Row

Spot Haiku 23 Part 4 of 4

i.
128
ordinary people who've been axed
walking wounded

Karen McVean

ii.
arrogant lawyers
follow the letter of law
and kill its spirit

Ian Row

Spot Haiku 23 Part 3 of 4

i.


Submitted by Babette
as found on the poetry board of
the fish shop on Lorne Pier






ii.
Sixty-six id'd
Unknowable grief, waiting
Caused in an instant

Jason Rostant

Spot Haiku 23 Part 2 of 4

i.
"Sick in bed" torpor
Earth moved - I didn't care
"body found with cats"

Cathy Dineen

ii.
This encrouching haze
Through these days that leave me hazed
Stupid old and phased

Simon Patience

iii.
ex-boyfriend shows up
remorse and apologies.
where is my backbone?

Cesca Alice

iv.
Pope goes the weasel
pawning false hope for lost souls
a man and his myths

Ian Row

Spot Haiku 23 Part 1 of 4

a true anecdote from the bushfires

i.
a fiery hell
everything seem'd burnt and gone
but the cat came back

ii.
and the cat came back
the vet tended free of charge
burnt and bloody paws

iii.
out of disaster
the milk of human kindness
a touch of heaven

Leah Billeam

A haiku about Coca-Cola

oh coca-cola
you've made a slave out of me
sweet sweet lovesick fool

Ian Row

the hours i work
the elephant in the room
one big elephant

Ian Row

at last, i've found you
next week, all will be revealed
and we, unravelled

Ian Row

the big fat typo
one mistake that will be seen
that i'll remember

Ian Row

A haiku about being on the other side of middle

Listen up, Body!
You will do as you are told!
Not an easy sell.

Ian Row

why am i single?
a lack of circulation
almost done ebbing

Ian Row

Jessica

and then she was gone.
Carnivale! Bellissima!
forever my girl.

Ian Row

A haiku about a dubious sales pitch

"This brand radio -
been around as long as me
- and I'm nineteen!"

Chris Gill

Indian winter
Andrew grows grey like the sky
Minds turn to pudding

Steve Lawson

Rules for dinner

clean and late better
than early and dirty!
Rules for dinner.

Chris Gill & Ian Row

Bit of random fun
Feelings locked away
Just what one needed.

Cameron Brodie

Pride March haiku

We get together
to show others and ourselves
that we're not afraid.

Chris Gill

Blaring omission
The Closer I Get To You
Roberta Flack live

Ian Row

Your new kitty kat
Thomas is NOT a cat's name
It is now

for chris

Ian Row

Spot Haiku 22 - Late submission

now and zen
it is acceptable
to be late

Dawn Mok

Spot Haiku 22

i.
half full/half empty
hanging in the balance is
equally tiring

Ian Row

ii.
Early morning dark
It's not just the air that's hot
He sweats, moans and sleeps

Jason Rostant

iii.
Exhausted on court
the crowd willing her to win
the Aussie Open

Leah Billeam

iv.
What to Make Of It
Fuddidly Duddidly You
Always confusing

Simon Patience

v.
giving you head
don't be too pleased with yourself
something to do

Ian Row

Graffiti haiku

> John bashes Janette
> Maybe John likes boys
> Poor Janette!

Anonymous
Cubicle door at Kino Dendy Cinemas

ugly/pretty

i.
ugly truth
wasn't blind enough to see
through to you

ii.
have i lost my shine?
sooner or later, so pales
the pretty picture

Ian Row

savor the warmth...
fifteen below centigrade
this northern winter

Magyar

Speed Round 11

i.
oh, it's far too hot
for doing speed round haiku
doh, now i'm sweaty

Jason Rostant

ii. ode to www.evanthornley.com
bollocks the public
I'm in it for the fois gras
let them eat cake mate

Patrick McCormick

iii.
breathing in the heat:
breathing out the cool change air -
accordion cat

Cathy Dineen

iv.
Lying warm under
her frayed khaki patchwork rug
this Summer country.

Chris Gill

v.
hey buddy, yeah you
aren't you a little old
to be skateboarding?

Ian Row

Two haiku about 'love and charity'

i.
love and charity
take whatever I can get
i am yours, all yours

Ian Row

ii.
love and charity
do you need a reminder?
upper left bicep

Jenny Morris

Bill's New Year Haiku: A Suite

i.
new year's eve
at the country club
golden oldies

ii.
auld lang syne —
two strangers decide
to hook up

iii.*
new year's party
the divorced couple
leaves together

*first published in A New Resonance 5: Emerging Voices in English Language Haiku, Red Moon Press, 2007.

Bill Kenney

deep end
treading water does not come
naturally

Ian Row

Panfried Pork Dumplings!
Lazy susan spins "Surprise!"
The magic of yum cha.

for cathy

Ian Row

"My sweet cherry pie..."
So yearning to speak these words
I'm baking my own.

Chris Gill

Birthday haiku

Happy Birthday to
A boy who knows what life is
Really all about


Crystal Tan

Santa - I've been good ...

Hard body, bronze tan,
fashion labels, perfect hair.
I want my Ken doll.

Steve Andrews

A haiku about the bitch in the taxi rank

bitch in taxi rank
your sense of right is wrong
where's my voodoo doll?

Ian Row

Hobartia*: Suite 6

*Hobart, Tasmania

i.
no one will say it -
the water tastes funny.
what other secrets?

ii.
cabin fever
gives way to desire
burger with the lot

iii.
emo kids gather at
franklin square - second day
of sunshine

Ian Row

Hobartia*: Suite 5 - Scenes from a mall

*Hobart, Tasmania

Scenes from a mall

i.
emo kids. living
here would give you something to
get emo over.

ii.
identical twins
in complementary colours
brothers overlap

iii.
hey you, yes you!
chuck norris lookalike
get it all the time

iv.
black rimmed glasses and
ensemble - a stab at style
it's universal

v.
drum on back, guitar,
mouth organ and tambourine!
one man busker band.

vi.Overheard...
I've lost my husband!
Any men here I can
have a look at?

vii.
asian tourists pose
why do they always select
boring backgrounds?

Ian Row

Hobartia*: Suite 4

*Hobart, Tasmania

i.
gallavanting
op shop guide reveals secrets
op till you drop

ii.
highest incidence
of disability
island rats and stats

iii.
you really are shy
practice makes perfecterer
one less lonely man

Ian Row

Hobartia*: Suite 3

*Hobart, Tasmania

i.
tasman peninsula
dolerite spires, sea caves
things you don't see by bus

ii.
the southern ocean
is being an albatross
a lonely life?

iii.
colony of seals
lie in the shade of seastacks
far from the frenzy

Ian Row

Hobartia*: Suite 2

*Hobart, Tasmania

i.
Rethink pub option
Feral patrons have me for breakfast
Chinese takeaway

ii.
Gay bar in Hobart
stars drag queen from Tecoma!
Have show will travel

iii.
Bi boys by-laws
I'm straight... women are hard work
Take what I can get

iv.
The posturing
Just a boy who's worried that
he's not big enough

v.
Officially bored
But if there was food I could
eat myself to sleep

Ian Row

Hobartia*: Suite 1

*Hobart, Tasmania

i.
Time to relax
I must switch off and relax
Relax, I said

ii.Overheard...
You have three choices:
Push-ups or abdominals
or butt

iii.
missing dad heartbreak
last seen, main st, sheffield
you and i both know

iv.
torrential downpour
flash flooding almost sweeps us
away

v.
don't care what they say
didn't mind Australia
our Nicole can act

Ian Row

A Chilson Suite

i.
snowflakes are falling
wanting in on the action
our lips touch again

ii.
the night you undressed
was the moment perferction
met imperfection

iii.
as our hands let go
it was hard to say good-bye
the love was still there

A.J. Chilson

Spot Haiku 21 Part 3 of 3

Inspired by lunch

i.
deep fried something
studded with promise... and prawn!
now stuck in m'teeth

ii.
swollen woman
bulging over wok
lard have mercy

iii.
I so want
a mummy-made lunch
feed my nostalgia

Dawn Mok

Spot Haiku 21 Part 2 of 3

Inspired by Eckhart Tolle's Power of Now:

i.
i am not
my chatty mind, then who am i?
shhhhhhh...

ii.
'be the observer'
or observant: invisible
and obsessed

iii.
Audio Eckhart
sounds just like
my talking clock

Dawn Mok

Spot Haiku 21 Part 1 of 3

i.
Thankful for the rain
Yet it still curtails plans
And curdles my soul

Simon Patience

ii.Wet Friday
What I learned this week
I’ll know for sure tomorrow
after this good rain.

Chris Gill

iii.
I map my day
With pit stops along the way
Just to pull through today

Ginny Phang

iv.
rickety tram ride
teenage angst - sideways glances
thin girls on chapel

Cathy Dineen

v.
So, did I do it -
make the needed difference?
Seems we all forget.

Chris Gill

Weather haiku

On Monday, a low
will move in causing grey skies
and frowns on the train.

Chris Gill

late quick fix lunch
three piece feed kay eff cee
heart attack special

Ian Row

golliwog coin banks
sociological statement
giggle or cringe

Ian Row

watching and learning
lip synch to jessye norman
joy and eloquence

Ian Row

broken glass and eggs
idiot's guide to fun weekend
your mess, our problem

Ian Row

turn around
i want to see what you've got
nice

Rocky

SBS World News weather report

i.
sunshine for Auckland
patchy cloud in Denpasar
blue skies for Beijing

ii.
fine day for Beirut
overcast in Istanbul
showers in Belgrade

iii.
wet in Caracas
storms for Panama city
snowfalls for Dallas

Predictive function - Curiosities

'elect' is 'eject'
'zeal' is 'weak', 'jazz' is 'lazy'
'us' turns to 'versus'

Ian Row

Learning for leaders:
drips from ceiling - fetch bucket
and FIX FUCKING ROOF!

Chris Gill

have i let you down?
how to manifest refuge
and resolution?

Ian Row

doors are wide open
no welcoming committee
new church fails first test

Ian Row

There are times when one
Feels the ebb and flow of life
Not now, not tonight

Damien Norris

Hot nights, sweaty sheets.
The pillows' blessed cool side
my only relief.

Steve Andrews

to the rude fuck on ocean grove beach

father makes wrong call -
"had a good look at my children?"
worthless apology

Ian Row

The world denies me
as I strove to deny it.
Yet nothing changes.

Steve Andrews

Obama Wins Big
He is an agent of change
We all benefit!

Carlae

Speed Round 10

Long weekend haiku

i.
Park-trees, crackers, cheese;
B-minor, BBQ, wine;
Sleep till 11.

Damien Norris

ii.
when the mind opens -
opportunity expands
with the universe

Cathy Dineen

iii.
healesville, bendigo
ballarat, film, freeze, sneeze, booze
i think i need sleep

Jason Rostant

Obamarama!

Obamarama!
Yes, we can, we should, we must.
You show them, sugar.

Ian Row

Stevie Wonder haiku

The following suite uses the lyrics* of Stevie Wonder in both original and altered forms. Stevie Wonder performed at Rod Laver Arena, Melbourne, Australia on 19 October 2008.

i.
my cherie amour:
only one my heart beats for.
how i wish you're mine.

ii.
soul = burning fire =
one desire = all that matters
to me.

iii.
you might have the cash
but you cannot cash in your face,
don't want ya living here

iv.
can't help it, if i
wanted to, wouldn't help it
even if i could.

v.
do i do
what you do, when i do
my love to you?

vi.
don't wanna bore you...
oh but i love you, i love you,
i love you.

Ian Row

*from:
i. My Cherie Amour
ii. All I Do
iii. Cash In Your Face
iv. I Can't Help It
v. Do I Do
vi. Knocks Me Off My Feet

iMac haiku

gorgeous new iMac
further isolate myself
from society

Ian Row

Work-related haiku: Suite

i.
suck it up, sunshine
seat of progressiveness yields
old school management

ii.
meltdown
five tablespoons resentment
bring to boil

iii.
mayday
angel in my pocket
don't give up on me

thanks to anna f and peter g

Ian Row

Roundtable of friends
Sharing food binds the spirit
Come closer he said

For Amanda

Ian Row

Porn in the background
helps me think... get the words out
I'll get back to ya

Rocky

Into pupil black
Seeking a charred thought long gone
Yet present, darn it!

Damien Norris

Sad, replaced, and lost
she wanders old and in pain.
Friends dazzled by new.

Steve Andrews

Oh America
Your last chance to get it right
Please don't fuck it up

Ian Row

Responsorial haiku 3

in response to how could anyone [22.10.08]

Female vocalists
Aretha and Roberta
Filed under "F"

Terry the Funky Thylacine

how could anyone
confuse aretha franklin
with roberta flack?

Ian Row

Predictive function (Rated PG)

predictive function
'puppy'/'pussy', 'bum' & 'cum'
'cock' leads to 'anal'

Ian Row

you wanna trip me?
be careful what you wish for.
things you can't take back.

Neve

power steering chick
death by reversing mazda
power in wrong hands

Ian Row

Spot Haiku 20

i.
jealousy rising
housemate, europe, seven weeks
at least house is mine

Jason Rostant

ii.
Blah, blah in my head
Cough, flutter and blow
Spring Cold

Karen McVean

iii.
these rich fair weather
capitalists fast become
socialists in strife

Patrick McCormick

iv.
Words, phrases stop.
Concatenations find a home
In Yellow search.

Karen McVean

v.
guy and madonna;
tea and david-splitsville
a bad moon rising?

Cathy Dineen

a text message
a foot short of an olive branch
i will not beg

Neve

Two haiku about two Melbourne Fringe Festival 2008 plays

i.New World Order
Treatment: Shakespearean
Metaphor massaged by language,
self-consciously.

ii.Halfway across the River
Concept: Living death
Unfetterred by its form,
a story is sold.

Ian Row

Nasty, Nasty, Day
People, shifty, thoughtless, grrr
Home-time, fresh-air, soon

Damien Norris

Paradigm defined
in seventeen syllables.
Morae is too hard.

Steve Andrews

I'm grumpy, he says
You better get used to it
Things i do for love

for Terry

Ian Row

don't wanna wake you
REM means you're sleeping,
maybe travelling.

for LA

Ian Row

I watch her drowning
yet fight the urge to rescue
lest she swim again.

Chris Gill

Buying jeans online?
Seller tries it on. You can't.
32? My arse!

Chris Gill

i want to heal you
make it all go away
fast forward ~ rewind

Ian Row

Oh Bounce, you're gorgeous!
It's that 'little boy lost' face!
Go on, in my bed

for Bounce

Ian Row

for the last time...
I wait for my first love
second fiddle

Anonymous

persian carpet sale
lay back against the backdrop
my peacock princess

Ian Row

br o ken wh eel > could have
died > killed someone else > who cares!
how much will this cost?

Ian Row