Speed Round 10

Long weekend haiku

i.
Park-trees, crackers, cheese;
B-minor, BBQ, wine;
Sleep till 11.

Damien Norris

ii.
when the mind opens -
opportunity expands
with the universe

Cathy Dineen

iii.
healesville, bendigo
ballarat, film, freeze, sneeze, booze
i think i need sleep

Jason Rostant

Obamarama!

Obamarama!
Yes, we can, we should, we must.
You show them, sugar.

Ian Row

Stevie Wonder haiku

The following suite uses the lyrics* of Stevie Wonder in both original and altered forms. Stevie Wonder performed at Rod Laver Arena, Melbourne, Australia on 19 October 2008.

i.
my cherie amour:
only one my heart beats for.
how i wish you're mine.

ii.
soul = burning fire =
one desire = all that matters
to me.

iii.
you might have the cash
but you cannot cash in your face,
don't want ya living here

iv.
can't help it, if i
wanted to, wouldn't help it
even if i could.

v.
do i do
what you do, when i do
my love to you?

vi.
don't wanna bore you...
oh but i love you, i love you,
i love you.

Ian Row

*from:
i. My Cherie Amour
ii. All I Do
iii. Cash In Your Face
iv. I Can't Help It
v. Do I Do
vi. Knocks Me Off My Feet

iMac haiku

gorgeous new iMac
further isolate myself
from society

Ian Row

Work-related haiku: Suite

i.
suck it up, sunshine
seat of progressiveness yields
old school management

ii.
meltdown
five tablespoons resentment
bring to boil

iii.
mayday
angel in my pocket
don't give up on me

thanks to anna f and peter g

Ian Row

Roundtable of friends
Sharing food binds the spirit
Come closer he said

For Amanda

Ian Row

Porn in the background
helps me think... get the words out
I'll get back to ya

Rocky

Into pupil black
Seeking a charred thought long gone
Yet present, darn it!

Damien Norris

Sad, replaced, and lost
she wanders old and in pain.
Friends dazzled by new.

Steve Andrews

Oh America
Your last chance to get it right
Please don't fuck it up

Ian Row

Responsorial haiku 3

in response to how could anyone [22.10.08]

Female vocalists
Aretha and Roberta
Filed under "F"

Terry the Funky Thylacine

how could anyone
confuse aretha franklin
with roberta flack?

Ian Row

Predictive function (Rated PG)

predictive function
'puppy'/'pussy', 'bum' & 'cum'
'cock' leads to 'anal'

Ian Row

you wanna trip me?
be careful what you wish for.
things you can't take back.

Neve

power steering chick
death by reversing mazda
power in wrong hands

Ian Row

Spot Haiku 20

i.
jealousy rising
housemate, europe, seven weeks
at least house is mine

Jason Rostant

ii.
Blah, blah in my head
Cough, flutter and blow
Spring Cold

Karen McVean

iii.
these rich fair weather
capitalists fast become
socialists in strife

Patrick McCormick

iv.
Words, phrases stop.
Concatenations find a home
In Yellow search.

Karen McVean

v.
guy and madonna;
tea and david-splitsville
a bad moon rising?

Cathy Dineen

a text message
a foot short of an olive branch
i will not beg

Neve

Two haiku about two Melbourne Fringe Festival 2008 plays

i.New World Order
Treatment: Shakespearean
Metaphor massaged by language,
self-consciously.

ii.Halfway across the River
Concept: Living death
Unfetterred by its form,
a story is sold.

Ian Row

Nasty, Nasty, Day
People, shifty, thoughtless, grrr
Home-time, fresh-air, soon

Damien Norris

Paradigm defined
in seventeen syllables.
Morae is too hard.

Steve Andrews

I'm grumpy, he says
You better get used to it
Things i do for love

for Terry

Ian Row

don't wanna wake you
REM means you're sleeping,
maybe travelling.

for LA

Ian Row

I watch her drowning
yet fight the urge to rescue
lest she swim again.

Chris Gill

Buying jeans online?
Seller tries it on. You can't.
32? My arse!

Chris Gill

i want to heal you
make it all go away
fast forward ~ rewind

Ian Row

Oh Bounce, you're gorgeous!
It's that 'little boy lost' face!
Go on, in my bed

for Bounce

Ian Row

for the last time...
I wait for my first love
second fiddle

Anonymous

persian carpet sale
lay back against the backdrop
my peacock princess

Ian Row

br o ken wh eel > could have
died > killed someone else > who cares!
how much will this cost?

Ian Row

Hello Spring

My big toes burst
like flesh blossom, tender pink,
sun tickled.

Karen McVean

Corporate guru -
Create, exploit, and destroy.
Take options and run.

Steve Andrews

Dream lover trilogy

i.
You were beautiful
but I can’t recall your face.
Who are you, hot boy?

ii.
Your eager embrace
quite took me, and by surprise
we shared a moment.

iii.
Skin smooth as cotton,
I sleep to meet you again.
Dream lover, come back!

Chris Gill

Water Music

On a barge, the King
says: "Play it again, Handel!"
By and large, we do.

Chris Gill

Korean Diner Twinset

i.
korean diner
metal chopsticks are heavy
feed me, mummy!

ii.
slippery tofu
a test of dexterity
scoop and shovel

Ian Row

Two meat lovers' haiku

i.
for salami
i extend five second rule
meat, how i love you

Ian Row

ii.
make it meat for me
dense, salty ex-animals
with built-in lip balm

Chris Gill

Spot Haiku 19

i.
the light that startles
stripping off winter layers
alabaster skin

Cathy Dineen

ii.
Eyes clear and twinkling
notice strangers on a train
hairy legs weather

Chris Gill

iii.
Sun strikes my cold skin
Melts the ice of indifference
And new desires begin

Doug Hamilton

iv.
morning walk to work
ipod, sun, still coolish breeze
good to be alive

Jason Rostant

iv.
days kicking nighttime,
open car windows spill rap and
sidewalks show some skin

Patrick McCormick

v.
Sun melts mountains’ mantle.
From warm soil snow juice flows to
Dark bud’s white blossom.

Doug Hamilton

vi.
Newly disembarked,
the Spring air smells like honey.
There's no place like home

Chris Gill

vii.
winter withdrawal
harder to hide imperfections
when there's less to wear

Ian Row

back from wilderness
'missing you' days are over
'love me' days begin

Ian Row

To Kirk

Grouchy S.O.B
With that face you can't afford
the bad attitude.

Ian Row

Challenges remain-
Three four three five seven five
Senryu or haiku?

Steve Andrews

The HCMC Collective 4

i.
Uncle Ho
Behind the General...
husband and lover

ii.
Power cut
World without a/c
Hell on earth

iii.
Special for you!
Sing a song of sales pitch
Same-same but different

Ian Row

The HCMC Collective 3

i.
You like Vietnam girl?
Ten dollar blow job, you want?
Twenty dollar boom boom

ii.
A place I've never been
Weave through Saigon on your bike
My arms beside you

Ian Row

The HCMC Collective 2

i.
Disabled artists
turn egg shells into a Klimt
Creative license

ii.
Cu Chi Tunnels
An underground labyrinth
Think inside the box

iii.
Cao Dai Temple
I spy with my divine eye
who I have become

Ian Row

The HCMC Collective 1

i.
Ho Chi Minh traffic
No need for green men and red lights
If you know, you flow

ii.
The War Museum
Lack of narrative compels
fresh storytelling

iii.
Thirty years later
Agent Orange courses through
the bloodstream

Ian Row

Cryogenic cure -
frozen in time and in space
changes your life how?

Steve Andrews

Singapore Suite – Part 4

i.
it’s no compromise -
tai-tai* for the right guy;
be my own woman

ii.
my previous life
an ill fit, a size too small
my well is empty

Ian Row

*A tai-tai is a Singaporean colloquailism (possibly originating from Cantonese) that refers to an ostentatious woman, usually Chinese and Chinese-speaking, who doesn't work, spends her massive free time living it up on her husband's income. She’s likely to wear lots of gold jewellery, have extra-long fingernails, well-honed mahjong skills, and can tell you all about the best spas and high teas in town.

Adapted from Tym

Singapore Suite – Part 3

Two rumours in haiku

i.
The old man’s keeping
his wife on life support to
safeguard his interests

ii.
your son
for our operative -
terrorist trade

Ian Row

Singapore Suite - Part 2

National Day Celebrations

The parade
Propaganda in song and dance
in formation

Ian Row

Singapore Suite – Part 1

i.
market charlatans
selling healing crystals
and hope

ii.
Singapore
Everything’s Made-in-China
Dragon-in-waiting

iii.
Staghorn ferns hang
off arms of Jacaranda
like lazing leopards

Ian Row

Spot Haiku 18

i.
History, politics -
with marble, bronze and newsprint
DC streets are lined.

Chris Gill

ii.
its been a year now
life travels on regardless -
lit a candle for him

Cathy Dineen

iii.
Sunshine, holidays
Birthday Father, Singapore
Two birds with one stone

Leah Billeam

Spot Haiku 17

i.
weekend of stillness
two days of interior -
rainfall and me-time

Cathy Dineen

ii.
tonsillectomy
looms on the near horizon.
more penicillin!

Cesca Alice

iii.Friday afternoon
East meets west
almost done, a ray of sun
on grey clouds.

Karen McVean

iv.
tricky traffic sitch >
pregnant rage > a good cyclist
is a dead cyclist

Ian Row

v.
friday eve clock off
one week's rest, perth's winter break
then nose back to wheel

Jason Rostant

vi.
as we fight
at the lights - gallahs
on the wire

Timothy K

vii.
Traffic infringement
makes a bang and a swear but
the road is still there

Chris Gill

Two 'how to haiku' haiku

i.
Being a writer
Cliched, scary and unsure
Teach me how to !an

Crystal Tan

ii.
First, follow the rules
Don't be afraid to bend them
Always tell the truth

Ian Row

a star sign theory
virgoans make good carers
astro-logical?

Ian Row

Rainbow ~
Just when I needed an end
comes a beginning

Ian Row

Indigenous Antipodean top predator welcomes introduced placental competition

I'll bite you, baby!
Marsupial carnivore,
it's what I do best!

Terry the Thylacine

Little fuzzy duck
you hop SO cute from the pond
and shit everywhere.

Chris Gill

bright sky on the ground
looking down is looking up
puddles after rain

Chris Gill

Worried by eBay
When will my parcel arrive?
Postal traumatic

Chris Gill

Responsorial haiku 2

in response to so that's art deco [21.07.08]

Saw the Deco show
Laughed out loud at the Hiaku
Curved, girly edges

Sharkbite Von Herringattack

so that's art deco -
radios in bakelite -
and jo baker's boobs

Cathy Dineen

No more Big Brother!
How will we fill the void?
With cake, silly!

Shaylaya

haiku poems are great
but sometimes they don't make sense
refrigerator

Author unknown
Submitted by Jessica Ardley

Fragrance on one arm
Another on another
Sniff one two cocktail

Chris Gill

Dream: 19/07

i.
i slept well
i went to mozambique
there were mud huts

ii.
two teenagers
decide to keep the baby
i said i'll help them

Ian Row

for kayla

your roots are showing!
the real you... unrepressible,
still shiny and new.

Shaylaya

flirtation
same old moves from way back when
imperfect cover

Ian Row

cab sav secrets spill
we watch him cast his spell
lazy susan spins

Ian Row

PMS Tuesday

PMS Tuesday
Orgy of expectations
Stand and deliver

Ian Row

PMS Monday

PMS Monday
Ironic how far you've come
to go nowhere

Ian Row

Cremation

No ashes, remains
Out to sea by balloon
Keepsake urn.

Karen McVean

possum in chimney
too cold for you outside; stay
but i won't feed you

Ian Row

Alison

street sign reminder
you and your evil ways
a curse on you

Ian Row

For it to make sense,
common language must be shared.
It isn’t. So what?

Sharkbite von Herringattack

towel in the bowl,
is like owl into shovel
they're not related

Hayu Dyah

what a father needs...
gentle push to go forward -
the knowledge he can

Ian Row

Speed Round 9

i.
Haiku I gave you
All the best years of my life
No syllables left

Jenny Morris

ii.Sales Frenzy
so many layers
and such a small cubicle
gonna guess my size....

Cathy Dineen

iii.
Is this the same place?
Old landmarks roll by dreamlike,
foggy dawn train ride.

Chris Gill

iv.
Midlife Glasses
Prada, prodesign, ted baker - focus, not cuss
Here's looking at you

Karen McVean

v.
baby delicious
is becoming stale and hard.
all men are bastards!

Cesca Alice

vi.
one last trough hurrah
inducing mid-winter warmth
dance, your ecstacy

Jason Rostant

vii.
michael rows his boat
ashore... learning to listen,
your voice is your guide

Ian Row

A hot stuff suite

i.
Malaysian sans you -
a restaurant betrayal?
my Char Hor Fun fun

ii.
Everybody needs
sambal to love, oh baby!
Love to sambal. Yeah!

Chris Gill

to be Gary
Coleman's doppelganger is
unfortunate

Rocky

Haiku gastro-interruptus

Queasy, runny guts...
That Sunday night lasagna
was.... oops! Excuse me....

Chris Gill

Tai chi in the park
morning traffic rushing by
no need to compete

Jenny Morris

Violet voodoo thoughts
What you get when you forget
your medication

Neve

cramping your style?
exactly what style is that?
face for radio

Ian Row

powerpoint dancing
template moves/effects, and no
imagination

Rocky

all day pyjamas
anti social saturday
self-sufficiency

Ian Row

Responsorial haiku

in response to Dead on the doorstep [26.06.08]

What maudlin rubbish!
Dead cats should be for breakfast,
not soppy poems!

Terry the Thylacine

A Thylacine trilogy

i.
'Though not yet extinct,
I have been infected with
the Haiku Virus.

ii.
My days tick away
each more defined than the last
by three-line poems.

iii.
Flickering footage:
these bars, those rules, my prison
yet in it I live.

Terry the Thylacine

Hot Cross Haiku is Two!

Happy birthday everyone!
And a big 'thank you' to the following hot crossers
for your poetry over the last 12 months.

Cesca Alice
Lynne Alice
Leah Billeam
Cambosis
Ross Clarke
Cathy Dineen
Hayu Dyah
G
Chris Gill
Josh
Timothy K
Judy Kamilhor
Zoe Kelly
Bill Kenney
Carol Ruth Kimmel
Patrick McCormick
Karen McVean
Dawn Mok
Jenny Morris
Neve
Simon Patience
Rocky
Jason Rostant
Matthew Ryan
Crystal Tan
Megan Thomson
Terry the Thylacine
Sharkbite Von Herringattack
Matthew Wright

you are already two!
happy haiku to you... and
you and you and you

Dawn Mok

smoke from
tobacco fires
mingle on the roof

Timothy K

still pools
in the rocks - rounded stones
in my pocket

Timothy K

Pet haiku

i.
i had a rover
his name was koon, he was a cat
and that was that

ii.
cold fur
faux sleep
forlorn

Dawn Mok

long lost friend
probably perfectly found
in another life

Ian Row

An RSVP haiku

I can’t come that day
(I’ll be searching for roadkill),
but my human can.

Terry the Thylacine

i.
cough drop please [cough] [cough]
need a lot of marshmallow
to mend this brokenheart

ii.
running marathon
[cough] [cough]... oh please not again
should I stop running for this?

iii.
Voiceless!
Need to go to the doctor
Hate those medicines

Hayu Dyah

pussycat heaven
God's sun-filled backyard; inside,
shade and soft pillows

for Chris

Ian Row

Dead on the doorstep,
puss won't need breakfast today
or pats, ever.

Chris Gill

Spot Haiku 16 - Part 2

i.
stop!
the moon
in a puddle

Timothy K

ii.
Golden morning light
dew like diamonds falls from leaves
day washed clean by night.

Chris Gill

iii.
morning sky
in the puddles
slowly...

Timothy K

iv.
roll out of bed
watch the colour purple
miss my mother

Ian Row

Spot Haiku 16 - Part 1

i. Ode to the Department of Transport

structures in ice
restructured -
wheels in motion

ii. Ode to Melbourne Winters

within dark bars -
candlelight and velvet
red wine conversations

iii. Ode to Ariel and Wandin Equestrian

"stasis in darkness"
horseriding at dawn
mid mountain clouds

Cathy Dineen

today
is winter
here

Timothy K

rain on
leaves and soil
tin and tiles

Timothy K

Five haiku about Chaka Khan at Hamer Hall

for CK

i.
Sizzling hotplate
Blue flame funk and buttered love
Chaka Khan live!

ii.
That voice
she hits notes that aren't in the book*
Pitch is the new black

iii.
Her hair and those hips
Does it matter they miss
her artistry?

iv.
True Chakaholics
earn their stripes, not flaunt backstage passes
won in some contest

v.
Your song
My life's soundtrack
Milestones

*quote from Arif Mardin

Ian Row